Women dating sites picky

I’ve heard it said a million times before: “I’m really picky.” The subject, of course, is pickiness in dating, and countless men and women tell themselves they can’t find a mate because they’re just too picky.

For people who are unhealthily picky, on the other hand, the possibility of a long-term relationship does the opposite of soothing them: It actually stresses them out! If you are someone who is extremely picky, it means that you (unconsciously) work hard to find faults with prospective partners as a means of self-protection.

The first step is to admit the problem, and it’s not that you’re “picky.” The real problem is that you’re afraid.

How to Solve the Picky Problem: No one believes in the power to change to more than a psychotherapist, and I watch people change every day in my office.

The Fear Factor: It goes without saying that it’s not so great if you fall into the extremely picky camp. What causes someone to be so picky and overly discerning? Extreme pickiness is a giant blob of defense mechanisms with an underlying fear of a real long-term romantic relationship.

Underneath it all, people who are extremely picky are afraid to depend on someone for fear of getting hurt.

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